The Technicalities of Life Will Come to You

There are few things I hate more than perky newscasters and liberal democrats aka Socialists (let it be known I am conservative, almost libertarian some may say, and my views may be construed as heavy handed). However, my doctor appointments fall into the category of the "few things I hate more than" list. It is my firm belief that doctor appointments in general qualify as something sent to bedevil the days of dogs. I could go on about what doctor appointments at the Orem Pet Medical Center are like but I wouldn't want to bore you with details. Then again, maybe I do.

Today's appointment was like any other except I have wised up to their methods. The waiting room is okay. I can talk shop with my peeps. We like to talk about all sorts of things but mainly current events. Let me tell you there is a real concern among the talking pet community about the steady rise of gas prices. At one visit a Basset Hound named Little Miss Maggie Moo taught me a dirty ditty called "Juanita, The One Legged Hussy from Juarez."

But back to today's appointment. During one of my intense discussions with FattJake we talked about mind control and the ability to control others by using mind control. This is what so called "hypnotists" use and I found FattJake quite knowledgable on the subject. FattJake had a book about mind control and powers of the mind when he was young. I think mind control books should be required reading in schools today. Whoops! There I go with my heavy handed conservative views. I could tell by the tones in his voice that hypnotism may be his secret dream job.

But back to the appointment. I thought I might be able to use my knowledge of mind control to my advantage. When I saw the nurse coming I sent powerful think waves like: "This dog has already been tested. You do not need to test this dog." and "Testing this dog is futile. Do so at your own risk." When I found that my mind control wasn't working I hid under the chair. I have learned that if I can't see people then I turn invisible. But apparently I was wrong about that too because the nurse grabbed my leash. In my last ditch efforts to escape I slipped my collar and tried to run for... well, anywhere the nurse wasn't. This didn't work either. The nurse laughed adding insult to injury, and the testing ensued.

I would prefer to fast forward to the results. In laymen's terms, I'm still not ready yet. My progesterone level is 3.9 but it needs to be 25-30. They think I will reach this number by Wednesday or Thursday. I'm not supposed to eat or drink after midnight on Tuesday. That's crap. I don't know... is that a conservative view? The People could tell I was distraught so they told me they planned another surprise road trip. Am I surprised... perhaps.