Uff Da! Riley's Guide to All Things From The Land Of Norwegia

I did the bio of Timmermans a couple of days ago, so today it's the Gundersens.

Gunder-goats. Gunder-cusses. Son of a Gunder. It's true we may have been called a lot of things but we are true blue Gundersens from the land of Norway. And we don't take anyone's crap!

Gundersens come from the magical land of fjords, trolls, Drekkar ships, Jarlsberg cheese, bread + butter + sugar snack, lutefisk, gnomes (I'm pretty sure the first gnomes were stick people fashioned by the Norwegians to place outside of their huts), Vikings, AND VIKINGS! Recently there was an actual census taken about Vikings. And Vikings beat out ninjas, zombies and robots for the most cool and beloved people of all time. Gundersens are extra strength, extra lasting, extra fresh Viking stock. We show no mercy. We pillage and plunder and then pillage some more. Especially if lentils are involved. Nothing inspires a Gundersen quite like food! Here I am modelling the traditional Norwegian attire. (Notice I only have a hat on and the rest of me is nude. That actually IS traditional Norwegian attire. That's how we roll. I get my hankering for nakedness from this side of the family.)

Norwegians inspire. We inspire Japanese game shows and Led Zeppelin. Take this video clip for instance... it was inspired... by Norwegians! (I did take some liberties to tweak this into a TRUE Gundersen masterpiece... I call it "Dear Gundersen")


The Scottish give us kilts and the Norwegians give us these:

And while Mr. Butler is still working on our Scottish ancestor movie, Kirk Douglas already made a film about our Viking ancestors called The Vikings.

There is really only ONE. BIG. REASON. WHY. BEING. A. GUNDERSEN. ROCKS. And this is it. If my bloggin' posse of fame lived in Norway this is what we would all look like!

Here are some of my favorite Gundersens:
Jake - my human dad - we tolerate each other. when necessary. we also have long discussions on the back porch and share an affinity for technology.

Connie - my grandma - we like to go shopping for pet clothes and people clothes. And we like to make fruit salad and BBQ ribs.

Wenvo Loafer - my grandpops - we like to bake bread and eat it.

Justin - my uncle - we like big, big trucks and dressing up like the devil in the pale moonlight. We also love jazz and bluegrass and watching the weather channel and Johnny Depp movies.


Here is my Norwegian Joke:
This is an ORIGINAL JOKE by BRIAN BOWER

VIKINGS HOME JOURNAL
(Today's Journal for the Modern Viking)
* Three fast and tasty village dog recipes for the working viking who doesn't have all day to cook.
* War wound stitchery- Don't throw away those severed body parts. Needle point tips that can make that foot or arm good as new.
* Surprising reader's poll: 9 out of 10 viking women are not satisfied in bed. Find out what they really want.
* Burning pitch techniques that can really let you rain hell on your neighbors!
* Surrounded by intellectuals-How one viking escaped. By David-the-Saxon.
* Viking mid-life crisis-Is raping murdering and pillaging all there is ?
* Is your son a Pansy?-A candid article by Erick-the-Red which every father should read.
* Don't let your Viking tupperware party end in a blood bath- Do's and Don'ts for a successful evening.
* Detroit unveils the New 89 line of warships-Faster, sleeker, fewer slaves in the galley!

AT YOUR VILLAGE NEWSTANDS NOW !

So, if I'm a little obsessive or crazy... I'm a Gundersen and that should explain everything. Long Live the Gundersens! Valhalla!